Thoughts Abroad

Florida: Where you go outside and breathe other people's sweat.

Adam Sandler's Hanukkah Song

Intro: This is a song, that uh, theres alot of Xmas songs out there, but not too many about Hanukkah, so I wrote a song for all those nice little Jewish kids who dont get to hear any Hanukkah songs--here we go...

Put on your yalmulka, here comes Hanukkah
Its so much fun-akkah to celebrate Hanukkah,

Hanukkah is the Festival of Lights,
Instead of one day of presents, we have eight crazy nights.

When you feel like the only kid in town without a Xmas tree,
Heres a list of people who are Jewish, just like you and me:

David Lee Roth lights the menorrah,
So do James Caan, Kirk Douglas, and the late Dinah Shore-ah

Guess who eats together at the Karnickey Deli,
Bowzer from Sha-na-na, and Arthur Fonzerrelli.

Paul Newmans half Jewish; Goldie Hawns half too,
Put them together--what a fine lookin Jew!

You dont need Deck the Halls or Jingle Bell Rock
Cause you can spin the dreidel with Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock--both Jewish!

Put on your yalmulka, its time for Hanukkah,
The owner of the Seattle Super Sonic-ahs celebrates Hanukkah.

O.J. Simpson-- not a Jew!
But guess who is...Hall of Famer--Rod Carew--(he converted!)

We got Ann Landers and her sister Dear Abby,
Harrison Fords a quarter Jewish-- not too shabby!

Some people think that Ebeneezer Scrooge is,
Well, he's not, but guess who is: All three stooges.

So many Jews are in show biz--Tom Cruise isn't, but I heard his agent is.

Tell your friend Veronica, its time you celebrate Hanukkah
I hope I get a harmonica, on this lovely, lovely Hanukkah.

So drink your gin-and-tonic-ah, and smoke your marajuanic-ah,
If you really, really wanna-kah, Have a happy, happy, happy, happy Hanukkah.

Creative Insults

"In a calm, clear voice, she suggested that the wyrsa in question could do several highly improbable, athletically difficult, and possibly biologically impractical things involving its own mother, a few household implements, and a dead fish." --The Silver Gryphon

When You're Angry...

"Well, what have we got here? Do you see this? Those flashing eyes, those flushed cheeks, those trembling lips... You know something Princess? You are ugly when you're angry."
--Bill Pullman, Spaceballs.

Braveheart for the Single

Ask him, and he may say no.

Don’t ask him, and he won’t reject you.

But years from now, alone in your retirement home,

Thinking back on today,

Would you be willing to trade all of those lonely days

Between now and then

For one chance

That he may say yes.

Missing Innocence

Romping through the forests wild

Weaving round the trees, this child

Shows us what we are missing.

Once, we too were like this golden haired

Youth, fearless and bold we dared

Our playground to show us something

We did not bid into our dream.

But then the monster of adolescence

Kidnapped the spirit of our innocence

And locked it in a tower, far away.

We tried to rally to our cause,

“Come with us and retrieve what was lost!”

But no ally joined us on that day,

And slowly, we joined their apathy.

We forgot what it was like to be carefree

And to believe in things we couldn’t see

We became those creatures we once only saw in shadow.

We took pride in that title, “Adult”

Not realizing that this cult

Would never let us return now that we know

That beyond the forest, nothing grows.

Our only hope to regain that tower

That holds our innocence in its power

Is to have children of our own.

Only with them as our guides

Can we be allowed back inside

For now we shall never alone

Reenter the play we had once known.

Journal 5.19.05

Yo, sup bloggin dogs? Haven't journaled in a while, thought I'd stop by to talk for a while. So what's sup? Eh, I just finished watching hail beat up my bike. Now I'm watching the rain soak into my seat. That'll be a fun ride home.

Lately I haven't had much to do online. Check my email, check my and liquiddjinn's blog, then update myself on the latest webcomic of my favs. Hey, why don't I tell you what they are so you can enjoy them as well? www.nuklearpower.com. Hilarious. www.9thelsewhere.com Adorable and fun. http://forcedalliance.fudebako.net. The art is kinda sucky at the beginning, but they get better as they go. So that's what I've done online recently,

Read: Am about halfway through Mists of Avalon.

Watched: The scene in Shall we Dance? where "The book of love" plays about 40 billion times. Also the lazer dancing scene in Ocean's Twelve about 3 times. Hope to watch Star Wars 3 soon.

Listened to: Everything my sister owns. I put all her music on my computer this week.

Knitted: (did I mention that I learned how to knit last weekend? Of course I didn't, but I did.) 1/4 of a scarf. Really cool looking too. Every member of my family wants me to teach them now, and my sister and my mom both want that scarf.

I think that's about it. I don't want my bike seat to get too soaked before I have to sit on it.

Hey, friends that love me and check this every once in a while, email me, huh? I need more to do online. And I miss you guys, *sniff*

The Book of Love- Peter Gabriel

The book of love is long and boring
No one can lift the damn thing
It's full of charts and facts and figures and instructions for dancing
But I
I love it when you read to me
And you
You can read me anything

The book of love has music in it
In fact that's where music comes from
Some of it is just transcendental
Some of it is just really dumb
But I
I love it when you sing to me
And you
You can sing me anything

The book of love is long and boring
And written very long ago
It's full of flowers and heart-shaped boxes
And things we're all too young to know
But I
I love it when you give me things
And you
You ought to give me wedding rings

And I
I love it when you give me things
And you
You ought to give me wedding rings
And I
I love it when you give me things
And you
You ought to give me wedding rings
You ought to give me wedding rings

Eau de Kyle

The year is gone, you move away,
To find new places to work and play.
The king of the kitchen serving fresh
Hot spighetti next to those who dress
In bright and manly aprons or
Top hats and tails dancing 'cross the floor.

The year is gone, the library's empty,
Your friendly smile we no more shall see.
The bathroom walls will never ring
With the ballads you used to sing.
And I shall miss watching
Man-cake trials in the spring.

The year is gone, we face the next alone,
Going to Utah without you on the driver's throne.
Eating at Sonic-burger and taking pictures,
No one will be brave enough, I'm sure.
And you showed me how easy
Writing poetry turned out to be.

And you never stopped encouraging
The kind of person I could be.

The Adultress

My key silently slides into the unlocked door
The midnight hour muffling the noise
Welcoming light pours onto the lawn from the kitchen window
Heart heavy, I push open the door and flinch as the kitchen lamp glares at me with its revealing stare
My face and clothes are smeared with my sin
My body reeks with its stench
What was disguised and hidden by the darkness now uncovered for you to see
Rather than risk falling asleep in the cushioned armchair
You sit at the uncomfortable kitchen table
Waiting for me
Wanting to talk, wanting to help
But I can't admit what I've done to you, again
I can't sit down with you, look in your eyes
And confess what I snuck out and did
In the morning, I'll pretend it didn't happen
And you'll still love me
I close the door and head for the shower that will not cleanse me
But the running water cannot drown the sound of your weeping

Journal 5.3

Gimme a break, it's my first time posting a pic...

And then he kinda killed me...

Wax

I am a rock covered in wax.
I used to scrape them with my abrasive nature,
And afterward I would sit down and rub on a little wax.
So now when they meet that spot,
It is a pleasant experience.
All my cracks and holes and jagged edges,
Have been filled with smooth, soft wax.
Now, I am completely covered,
And I appear to be a perfect white sphere.
Sometimes I wonder, what happened
To that ugly little rock that was me?
Is it still there?
Waiting for me to melt the wax away?
But I can't, you understand,
Because then they will see that I am not perfect.
And I will scrape them and make them bleed.
And they won't enjoy me anymore.
But really, they aren't enjoying me now.

Anyone can be a poet

Anyone can be a poet
Anyone can make lines rhyme
Give them a meter, they can do that too.
What is a poem anyway?
A half formed thought
A picture taken with a narrow, blurry lens
Anyone can get an idea,
Slap words down on paper,
And get a peom
Poems dont' need plots
Or characters
Or a climax
Or resolution
To satisfy its readers
It doesn't even need to make sense
And people will read it,
And nod,
and ponder its concepts.
Anyone can be a poet
Give a computer rules and a vocabulary
Anything can be a poet too
"But" they cry "a computer
Doesn't have the heart of
Whitman or Shakespeare or cummings"
Yeah, well, those men just tried something different
To set their poems apart from everyone else's
Experiment, push the rules,
Maybe you'll find something new
And your poems too can be popular.

Conversation with God

Don't you know I can do this
Yes I know one day you wil do this
Yes, one day I will, but today I am here now, with you.

Midnight Snack

Your healthy skin
Bloated with your life syrup
Calls to me.
Our hands explore each other
Yours to get in the mood,
Mine to calm you, my prey.
Now you're ready
And you follow me obediently,
Like a meek little lamb
Into my wolf's cave.
A few kisses here,
You put your hands there,
I nibble on your ear
To let you know what to expect.
I kiss a trail to your neck
To that wonderful artery.
You may feel my foreplay is teasing,
But none so much as your heartbeat.
All night you've been pulsing,
Teasing me.
As you've gotten excited,
Your little heart's gone faster,
Pounding.
So close, I can feel it throb
Beneath my lips.
I can't stand it anymore,
You drive me crazy,
And I bite.

Journal 4.28

Okay, so give me a few more days, then I'll give you guys all the half-written poems I got. That should keep you satisfied for a while, you hungry man eaters, you.

Smile

You can ask me to smile
But you can't make me want to.

Journal 4.20

Old guys are awesome! (No comments from the peanut gallery, please) So I and H went to Subway and we took it to this park H knew about, because we bet dinner and I won, so I got to go out for din-din. After we ate, in the grass, it was so cool, and threw our trash in the can (Kids, don't litter), we went to the swings. I love the swings. And H loves the swings too. And this, oh, 7 year old girl joined us and we all were talking about different tricks, and then we moved to the slide, and then me and H got on the kiddie teeter-totter, and the kid stood on the fulcrum, (or some other physics word like that) and we just seesawed for a long time. So there's the background. Now for the story.

So there was this old couple and another old lady walking through the park, talking. The two ladies sat on a bench and talked quietly, and the old guy, bored out of his mind, watched the kids (and us) play. He walked over to a mini bouncy thing and nudged it a little with his foot, and just watched. After a good ten minutes, the ladies are still talking, we're still seesawing, and he's still bored. And then he goes for the swings. He sits down, a little gleam in his eye, and starts pumping. I watched him openly, smiling my young encouragement at this beautiful moment. You could tell he knew how to handle a swing. I didn't take him long at all to get some height, even with the limitations his body had. H was listening to the kid, and didn't notice this at all. After maybe a dozen pumps and four feet of air, he gets his wife's attention. Both ladies watch a moment, while he sits there, swinging with that rebellious look in his eye, until one says, "Boys will play." I have to say, I was a little hurt by that. It was condescending, the way she said it, and she called him a boy, and she totally put down his behavior as embarressing to one his age. He slowed, and got off, but he still had that look in his eye, so I knew he was getting off because he was embarressing his wife and not because he was embarressed. Throughout the whole episode, I tried to let my body language say, "Dude! You are so cool for doing that!" and I think he got the message. He did all but wink at me as he climbed off the swing and walk off the play area.

Spring

Bright and green, pure and light,
Growing, flying, Frisbees throwing.
Spring’s presence, purer than a summer’s fling,
Awakes life, reflected in me as a lake.
Flowers blossom, revealing Spring’s power
Exultant and proud, their best displayed, perfect.