I wish I meant it

I wish I were making a statement with my life.
I wish there was a tune in my head that made me strut out of step,
Rather than my syncopated rhythm owing to my unsteady gait.
I wish I was trying to make a point with my gender neutral coarseness,
Rather than overcompensating for childhood shyness.
I wish I were trying to support women's independence,
Rather than struggling to be content with my loneliness.
I wish I were rebelling against a life in a cubicle,
Rather than turning my back on a closed door.
I wish my life were intentional,
Rather than simply rationalized.