Nagging Thoughts: Loved the Way I Am

See Background for previous post

And I disagree with my friends on another point. I don't want to be loved the way I am. I think that it would be a sad, pitiful creature who accepts me as I am today and is willing to live with me this way for the rest of his life.

I am not perfect. I will never be perfect, but I'm a lot further from perfect than I potentially could be. I want to be loved for my potential. And while I want to be loved today, I want it to be understood that I am striving for better, and if they have that in mind, they can encourage me to be better, rather than, "why change, you're fine now".

Think of it. A guy decides he loves you "as you are now." He doesn't expect you to mature, or grow, he's okay with you staying at that maturity level forever. No. I don't want that. He's settling for lower than he can get. See my potential. Be with me for the person I want to be, whom I'm trying to be. Help me get there. And for the rest of your life, you will be with a person who is better than the person you first met.

Nagging Thoughts: Being Honest.

You know how you're in a conversation, and someone says something and your brain flags it, but you can't think of anything to say so you just smile and nod? And then later, your brain's analyzed it and you discover you actually do have an opinion. Well, "Nagging Thoughts" are going to be my outlet for expressing what I couldn't come up with a response for earlier.

Background: I was having a conversation with two guy friends and my sister, and we were talking about Twilight and how it caters to female fantasy, and I said, "Well, guys, take notes, because those are some of the things girls want." And both the guys immediately said, "I'm not going to pretend to a girl. I want to be loved the way I am." And at first, I felt shot down, and I agreed, I mean, who can argue against honesty and being accepted? But then I thought about it a few days later and now...

I think that's cheap. There are romantic elements that I want to experience. I want to be told I look gorgeous, and I want a guy to do my chores for me just because it'll make me feel special. And the thought that if, for example, I dated either of my guy friends in the conversation, if they didn't naturally want to say I looked pretty, or if they didn't feel like doing the dishes, they wouldn't. That in their opinion, if a guy wasn't born complimenting women and naturally a servant, that I shouldn't be able to experience romance. That honesty is more important.

Well, no, in my mind, it's not. Not at the expense of my self esteem. If I look and feel fat, and my significant other "lies" and gives me a compliment, I want it. If the last thing he "wants" to do is the dishes when it's my job but he knows the past week has been rough on him, I would greatly appreciate it if he denied himself and did my chore. I recognize that romance is not natural to some men, but I don't accept that as an excuse to be an asshole to your girlfriend, in the name of honesty.