So, all semester I've been wanting a boyfriend, and all semester I've been attracted to every other guy, and all semester no one's shown any slightest bit of interest. And this is without flirting. Were I to take matters into my own hands (and out of God's), I could probably find someone. But I've done that before, and I think that I lose interest with guys acquired too easily. Like, I ask them out, and they say yes (not all guys would, just the ones I'd ask), and it was easy, but then after I've started the relationship, I sit back and wait for them to pick up the reins, and they don't, because they aren't the personality type to do that, they couldn't even ask a girl out, so then I get bored and dump them. I got sick of asking guys out to dances, and for Senior Prom I swore I wouldn't. You would not believe the manipulation and mind games I had to play in order to get Matt to ask me. Nearly made me sick, and I almost lost patience and asked him. But linking that to now, not only would instigating something go against waiting for God's timing, but I don't want to.
I want a guy with a friggin backbone. Who will ask me out. Who is interested in me. Namely, no one here. Either everyone here is not interested in me, in which case, I don't want to go out with them, or they're too scared to ask me out, so I wouldn't want to go out with them either. So I'm not dating because there are no guys around who measure up to my standards. It's about perspective. It's not that they don't want to date me, it's that I wouldn't want them to, even if they would. *sigh* Actually, there are some guys who may ask me out in the future, but I'm too shallow to like them. But that's a standard too, right? I should like them to go out with them?
You know, none of this made sense. It just feels better to say, "It's not me, it's all of them."
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2 comments:
It’s understandable, I mean guys like I always say are stupid (being one I know from experience and I see it on a daily occurrence) But being in the same predicament I know what you mean. I have search long and hard for someone that I could emotional attach to. It’s sad how it seems like no one seems to be like that. I don't know about your part of Oregon, but In Monmouth, It’s hard. Maybe I am just not choosing to look in the right places, nor am I setting my standards to high. But who knows right. Fate has a funny way of delivering what we want when we least expect it. I think at least. Also I wish I could draw the pictures that i do on my blog. But they are just pictures I take with my webcam and then use Photoshop to make them have that effect. Kind of cool, but depressing at the same time. (sorry for the length of the post, I'm ranting alot of late)
My dear girl! You are awsome! Fun, intelligent, beautiful, creative, youthful... You are cool. And there's some guy out there who's going to meet you and go "WOW" and think your the best thing in the world. He exists. It will happen. Don't settle for anything else. Hey, if I were a guy... ok, that sounds really wierd. But anyway, you're on my top-ten list. You rock. :)
- Gypsie
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