Me in Southpark

Birth of a Story

After a late night of labor, with tears and groans, my child was born.
I cried with relief, and slept content cradling my baby.
In the morning, as Dawn's light pulled aside the curtains,
I hold aloft my child to the rays and recoil in horror.
My offspring, so loved the night before, is now a source of shame.
Its limbs were deformed, its features missing or misshapen.
It gurgled monstrously, and reached for me.
Reluctantly, I pull it to my breast and cradle it. It is mine.
Excited knocking sends a panic through me.
Hastily, I lay my offspring in the cradle and cover it with a blanket.
Answering the door, I am greeted by well meaning friends.
Denying its existence, I retreat to where it's hid.
Weeks later, I decide to subject it to the public.
I pitied it, I cried over its body
Before I carried it outside and handed it over to them.
They huddled around it, brandishing their sharp knives.
I heard its screams,
And fought myself to keep from breaking them apart and ripping it from them.
Finally, they place its writhing, bloody body in my trembling, wet arms.
I race back into my home, weeping, apologizing to it,
And desperately attempting to bandage its wounds.
Dawn roused us from a painful and sore night,
And I lift my baby out of its cradle.
In the fresh light, she smiled at me.

Extra points to the person who can name the author of the poem this is semi-based on.

Ha Ha, uhm, Nevermind...

I can laugh now because it didn't happen. Not that I didn't THINK it really happened, but now that it's turned out okay, I can laugh. So, misunderstanding, and for all you people who have your car serviced, be sure to leave a phone number that works consistently. There was miscommunication regarding the car, and I feel like a complete idiot. But I couldn't have known, so either, wait 48 hours to report it stolen, and be sure it wasn't, or report it right away and feel like an idiot? I think I was justified in my course of actions, but I still feel like a retard. I totally slept for sixteen hours the next day and went to bed normally afterward. I think I was mourning. Most depressed day of my life. Okay, maybe not Most, but top ten. I went to dinner, and looked at all the people who still had their cars where they left them. I also recognized that I could have dealt with much meaner police officers at each stage of this drama, but I didn't. And I am thankful to God that it worked out like it did.

Maxime's Gone!

She's been stolen! I feel violated. I also feel like a bad mother, like I should have done something that I didn't to prevent it. I cried a lot. Yeah, its an inconvenience to not have a car, but I want Maxime back. I don't just want a car. I've been offered the use of my sibling's car, but I hope Maxime is found before it comes to that. The other car maybe more gas efficient and nicer looking, but I think I took better care of my Fat Lady then they do of their Anorexic Girl. Ah! I'm already using past tense! I did that last night with the police officer. "What was the car's license plate?" Regardless of whether I possess my car anymore, she probably still has her license plates. "What IS her license plate?" Though he wouldn't have thought to use the pronoun. I don't care if they take out the stereo, the speakers, the seat covers, or anything else in my car. I just want the frame and the engine back. Though any tires, seats or windows that were intact would be appreciated. My baby's gone!

Deuteronomy

I feel that there is God’s law, and man’s law. We are subject to both. God doesn’t want us to kill each other. I think that includes war, self defense, and abortion.

If we follow this to the letter, if we are attacked by someone intending to take our life, we shouldn’t retaliate. Passive to the point of being wiped out. Now, how many people do you know will do that? Will stand there passively while the thief breaks into their house and kills their family? No one, right? They will retaliate in some way, even maybe kill the person.

Was this right?

By which law? By God’s law, no. This was murder. You sinned protecting your family.

Will it keep you from heaven? No.

Will it get you sent to prison? Maybe, depending on how good your lawyer is.

Will you have to live with the consequences of your actions for the rest of your life? Yes.

When you die, will you be judged by man’s law, or God’s law? Luckily, when facing God’s law, we have Jesus as our lawyer. And we know the outcome before we even walk into the courtroom.

If you have an abortion, you have killed someone. Was that a sin? Yes.

Will you go to prison? No.

Will you have to live with the consequences? Yes. You will carry that weight the rest of your life.

Will that murder keep you from God’s love? No.

Will you carry that weight in heaven? No.

If you divorce your husband, was that a sin? Yes.

If you remarry, what does that mean? According to God, you are now an adulteress.

Will you go to prison? No.

Will you and your children have to live with the consequences? Yes. So I hope that the situation you left was worth the consequences during their lives.

Will any of this matter in the end? No.

Valentine's Day!

Ha ha. I like Valentine's Day. I've yet to have a boyfriend on one, and get balloons or flowers from someone not my mom, but I still enjoy the cheesy spiderman or looneytoons valentines from my friends. I forgot to buy ones for my friends, but I'm going to be all over it next year. Right now all my valentines are pinned on the wall next to my door. (I have two more than my roomie, since the one from her boyfriend counts as two.) I even got a personalized one from a friend and it sent me giggling hysterically for a good ten minutes. There I go again. Valentine's Day isn't just for couples to get mushy and try to out-gift the other one, it's just a general "I care about you, in case you forgot" day. It's for family and friends, and complete strangers too.

So I want to say, "I love you" to all of you reading this. Cause whether you're reading this because I know you and told you about it, or you found me, or you stumbled on this blog while searching for a Zelda walkthrough, I love you and you matter to me. Seriously.

Mediagames

Heehee, I wonder if anyone else has coined that term? I didn't want to write "video and computer games". Here are the two games up for discussion: Minesweeper and Zelda: Ocarina of Time.

Minesweeper: I am beginning to suspect that this game is a complete waste of time. Only after I beat Expert twice. Not in a row, I've only done it three times to date.

Zelda: is not the name of the main character. I keep forgetting that. Friday I played an hour of it for the first time since I grounded myself from it. I'm going painfully slow at it, which is fine for me, I don't have the nerves for the fighting, and I hate the Nintendo controller. I also blame the controller for my battle failure. I'd rather use the arrow buttons to maneuver, but that's not even an option. On a PS it's an option, but not this. So, when I'm in Karkarino or whatever, how do I open the crate that has the chicken in it? I've shot at it, kicked it, slashed at it, carried over a rock from up the hill to throw at it... I need that chicken. And what about the one behind the wall that's only accessible from a ladder leading from above the windmill, which has one door to go inside, but not one to go up and out? I need those chickens! I have a task that doesn't involve panic and slippery controllers and getting killed, I need to complete it! The walkthroughs I've looked at don't even consider the chickens worth explaining, as they probably aren't necessary to kill the big boss man at the end. And when do I get to ride the horse and go back in time and turn into a fish? I've watched friends play, but I've never had it myself until recently.