Tuesday, July 04, 2006

I'd move to Wisconsin if it weren't for the bugs

Yes, I am in Wisconsin. I'm helping a church with three weeks of summer camp, and then a with a week of Vacation Bible School. Today is our day off for the first week, and my team and I are at our Project Director's house playing Dance Dance Revolution. Massive sweat break. I had to stop, cause my calves were killing me.

The three days before Senior camp started were exciting. Laundry, Culver's (a Wisconsin restaurant that is just awesome. West Coast needs to build some. They have cheese curds, and custard, and beautiful hamburgers. My team is going to beg our PD to take us tonight.) A Minor league game... oh, and some of us went kayaking in a little lake. The house I'm staying at when I'm not at camp has four boys, but one is helping a camp somewhere else and another was in a traveling singing group until the start of Senior camp and now he's a camper. The other two boys were absolutely adorable. They picked out all these bath stuffs for a welcome home present, and each had a different scent. So cute. And then yesterday was my birthday, so they came to camp with a risque card (they had no idea) and a fishing magazine (their favorite activity) candy, and sponge bob balloons. I love them both.

Our team's name is Elite, and our team verse is Ephesians 6:13-14a. The idea is that we are in a war, and our team's goal for the summer (and after) is to be an elite fighting force for the Lord. We're going to try and get jerseys with our name and verse printed on them. Our mascot is our PD's dog.

Today is a parade and shopping, then fireworks and back to camp. Write more later, working on some poems for ya guys. (I mean liquiddjinn, really)

Tuesday, April 25, 2006


Cleansing Fire

My lover's eyes

My lover’s eyes aren’t deep as the ocean,
They’re dull and shallow like a mud puddle.
Extremely thin and bony is his shin
His arms, chest, and legs have little muscle.

His lips are the taste of sour coffee
And his hair falls like the grass of the field.
A god’s face is bare, but his grow poppies.
In the sun, not tan skin, but red that peels.

I may laugh at him when he struts his stuff,
But his love for me is sexy enough.

Update

So, sorry it's been so long. Not like everyone's been desperate for my blog to be updated. Before I root around for something interesting to post, personal time.
Maxime lately had some transmission trouble. The kind that strands me at Subway and makes her need to be towed. But it turned out okay. Mechanic found that Les Schwab did a sucky job on my Ujoints, and made them fix it. That was exciting. Seriously. And he found two other things wrong with my car, and the grand total was less than a thousand. I'm happy about this amount because a) it was less than my nightmares of the cost of the transmission alone, b) I didn't have to personally cough up the money, and c) my dad, the one doing the coughing, was okay with the amount.

I have a crush. It's the lame kind, where I'm excited to look in the window where he works and see that he's there late. Just knowing where he is makes my day look good. Go in there and talk to him? What? Why? And ruin my chances, when walking past his window is just starting to work out for me? I know. Like I said, it's lame. A trusted adult recently advised me to start hanging out with boys casually, without liking them first, trying to get them to like me, or having to flirt. Just hang out with them. Be friends. This is harder than it seems, since I'd like to hang out with the boys I like, and try not to hang out with the ones I don't. My subconscious agenda to get a boyfriend is impairing my social skills. *sigh*

Let's see, I've mentioned my car and boys. Anything else? Not really. Is it too late for Spring Break stories about Utah? I could still do those, even though they're a month old. Now to root around and look for something fun for ya.

Monday, April 03, 2006

21st Century Psalms

The Lord is a fully stocked bomb shelter though mine enemies hurl their nukes at me.
The Lord is my semi truck, providing for my needs in bulk.
The Lord is my tire chain, giving me traction on the slippery road.
The Lord is my rest stop on a cross country journey, giving me relief.
The Lord is my air conditioning, keeping me cold while the outside temperature is over 100 degrees.
The Lord is my bowl of chicken noodle soup after a day of playing in the snow.
The Lord is my Air Force One, keeping me in the air while mine enemies bomb my home.

Friday, March 31, 2006

I don't like Idaho

Sorry for no heads up. I'm finishing spring break and went on a missions trip to Utah. Yeah, okay, hope no one gets offended by that. Seriously, it's totally double sided, they talk about their faith, and then I talk about mine. Last year was much more stressful, though I didn't talk with as many people. Quick overview.
Saturday: left Oregon at like 7 am, drove too slowly and took to many stops, so we were still in Idaho when darkness fell. Blizzard hit, and the snow was sticking to the signs, so we couldn't see the mph, which mile we were on, what road we were on. God guided us so that we stayed on the right highway, and safely exited to a place to spend the night (a weigh station). It was freezing, and my neighbor in the van switched spots with a guy I didn't know, so I couldn't cuddle for warmth. We waited until daylight. So cold. And our clothes were damp, from leaving the vans to go to the bathroom, with the snow flying.
Monday-Today: Visited Temple Square, some Institute classes, went to a youth group in the mountains, went to a Praise and Worship.
Now, back in Idaho, this time spending the night in a hotel.

Night, everyone!
Jackie Bird

Monday, February 27, 2006


Me in Southpark

Monday, February 20, 2006

Birth of a Story

After a late night of labor, with tears and groans, my child was born.
I cried with relief, and slept content cradling my baby.
In the morning, as Dawn's light pulled aside the curtains,
I hold aloft my child to the rays and recoil in horror.
My offspring, so loved the night before, is now a source of shame.
Its limbs were deformed, its features missing or misshapen.
It gurgled monstrously, and reached for me.
Reluctantly, I pull it to my breast and cradle it. It is mine.
Excited knocking sends a panic through me.
Hastily, I lay my offspring in the cradle and cover it with a blanket.
Answering the door, I am greeted by well meaning friends.
Denying its existence, I retreat to where it's hid.
Weeks later, I decide to subject it to the public.
I pitied it, I cried over its body
Before I carried it outside and handed it over to them.
They huddled around it, brandishing their sharp knives.
I heard its screams,
And fought myself to keep from breaking them apart and ripping it from them.
Finally, they place its writhing, bloody body in my trembling, wet arms.
I race back into my home, weeping, apologizing to it,
And desperately attempting to bandage its wounds.
Dawn roused us from a painful and sore night,
And I lift my baby out of its cradle.
In the fresh light, she smiled at me.

Extra points to the person who can name the author of the poem this is semi-based on.

Ha Ha, uhm, Nevermind...

I can laugh now because it didn't happen. Not that I didn't THINK it really happened, but now that it's turned out okay, I can laugh. So, misunderstanding, and for all you people who have your car serviced, be sure to leave a phone number that works consistently. There was miscommunication regarding the car, and I feel like a complete idiot. But I couldn't have known, so either, wait 48 hours to report it stolen, and be sure it wasn't, or report it right away and feel like an idiot? I think I was justified in my course of actions, but I still feel like a retard. I totally slept for sixteen hours the next day and went to bed normally afterward. I think I was mourning. Most depressed day of my life. Okay, maybe not Most, but top ten. I went to dinner, and looked at all the people who still had their cars where they left them. I also recognized that I could have dealt with much meaner police officers at each stage of this drama, but I didn't. And I am thankful to God that it worked out like it did.

Sunday, February 19, 2006

Maxime's Gone!

She's been stolen! I feel violated. I also feel like a bad mother, like I should have done something that I didn't to prevent it. I cried a lot. Yeah, its an inconvenience to not have a car, but I want Maxime back. I don't just want a car. I've been offered the use of my sibling's car, but I hope Maxime is found before it comes to that. The other car maybe more gas efficient and nicer looking, but I think I took better care of my Fat Lady then they do of their Anorexic Girl. Ah! I'm already using past tense! I did that last night with the police officer. "What was the car's license plate?" Regardless of whether I possess my car anymore, she probably still has her license plates. "What IS her license plate?" Though he wouldn't have thought to use the pronoun. I don't care if they take out the stereo, the speakers, the seat covers, or anything else in my car. I just want the frame and the engine back. Though any tires, seats or windows that were intact would be appreciated. My baby's gone!

Friday, February 17, 2006

Deuteronomy

I feel that there is God’s law, and man’s law. We are subject to both. God doesn’t want us to kill each other. I think that includes war, self defense, and abortion.

If we follow this to the letter, if we are attacked by someone intending to take our life, we shouldn’t retaliate. Passive to the point of being wiped out. Now, how many people do you know will do that? Will stand there passively while the thief breaks into their house and kills their family? No one, right? They will retaliate in some way, even maybe kill the person.

Was this right?

By which law? By God’s law, no. This was murder. You sinned protecting your family.

Will it keep you from heaven? No.

Will it get you sent to prison? Maybe, depending on how good your lawyer is.

Will you have to live with the consequences of your actions for the rest of your life? Yes.

When you die, will you be judged by man’s law, or God’s law? Luckily, when facing God’s law, we have Jesus as our lawyer. And we know the outcome before we even walk into the courtroom.

If you have an abortion, you have killed someone. Was that a sin? Yes.

Will you go to prison? No.

Will you have to live with the consequences? Yes. You will carry that weight the rest of your life.

Will that murder keep you from God’s love? No.

Will you carry that weight in heaven? No.

If you divorce your husband, was that a sin? Yes.

If you remarry, what does that mean? According to God, you are now an adulteress.

Will you go to prison? No.

Will you and your children have to live with the consequences? Yes. So I hope that the situation you left was worth the consequences during their lives.

Will any of this matter in the end? No.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Valentine's Day!

Ha ha. I like Valentine's Day. I've yet to have a boyfriend on one, and get balloons or flowers from someone not my mom, but I still enjoy the cheesy spiderman or looneytoons valentines from my friends. I forgot to buy ones for my friends, but I'm going to be all over it next year. Right now all my valentines are pinned on the wall next to my door. (I have two more than my roomie, since the one from her boyfriend counts as two.) I even got a personalized one from a friend and it sent me giggling hysterically for a good ten minutes. There I go again. Valentine's Day isn't just for couples to get mushy and try to out-gift the other one, it's just a general "I care about you, in case you forgot" day. It's for family and friends, and complete strangers too.

So I want to say, "I love you" to all of you reading this. Cause whether you're reading this because I know you and told you about it, or you found me, or you stumbled on this blog while searching for a Zelda walkthrough, I love you and you matter to me. Seriously.

Mediagames

Heehee, I wonder if anyone else has coined that term? I didn't want to write "video and computer games". Here are the two games up for discussion: Minesweeper and Zelda: Ocarina of Time.

Minesweeper: I am beginning to suspect that this game is a complete waste of time. Only after I beat Expert twice. Not in a row, I've only done it three times to date.

Zelda: is not the name of the main character. I keep forgetting that. Friday I played an hour of it for the first time since I grounded myself from it. I'm going painfully slow at it, which is fine for me, I don't have the nerves for the fighting, and I hate the Nintendo controller. I also blame the controller for my battle failure. I'd rather use the arrow buttons to maneuver, but that's not even an option. On a PS it's an option, but not this. So, when I'm in Karkarino or whatever, how do I open the crate that has the chicken in it? I've shot at it, kicked it, slashed at it, carried over a rock from up the hill to throw at it... I need that chicken. And what about the one behind the wall that's only accessible from a ladder leading from above the windmill, which has one door to go inside, but not one to go up and out? I need those chickens! I have a task that doesn't involve panic and slippery controllers and getting killed, I need to complete it! The walkthroughs I've looked at don't even consider the chickens worth explaining, as they probably aren't necessary to kill the big boss man at the end. And when do I get to ride the horse and go back in time and turn into a fish? I've watched friends play, but I've never had it myself until recently.

Sunday, January 22, 2006

I would appreciate replies to this...

Why do boys think that they failed when they don’t get a girl to like them?

Judas

As you were born to die,
I was born to betray.
I love you, my Rabbi.
I listened to your teachings,
I left my family
And my home
To follow you.
To live for you.
To travel to unclean lands
And live uncertainly
With you.
I planned to talk to the priests,
I don't know why.
I couldn't stop thinking about it
That last night.
We dipped our bread together,
You seemed to know my thoughts,
And sent me away.
I met you at the garden,
And saw your resignation.
Puzzled, I kissed your face in the darkness,
Greeting you, my Rabbi.
Your voice chilled me,
I did condemn you
As your friend.
I lived,
To betray the Son of Man with a kiss,
To die,
Damned,
So that Creation could know salvation,
And so that He could rise and show His power.

Monday, January 16, 2006

Nothing much today...

Sorry, I wanted to use this blog to post poems and such, but I haven't written any lately, so thus the mindless drivel. I've been busy figuring out the theology of Star Wars (dualistic) and reincorporating myself with classes. I'll keep my mind out for any poem or prose opportunities, and post the result as soon as I can. Promise.

Read lately: in the dead center of "Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince" duh! the Half Blood Prince is Voldemort! How many Half Blooded powerful wizards are there? Hm? Duh! That would have been my first guess, actually, it was my first guess, and Harry's bothering around with wondering about his full blooded father or Muggle born mother. And why doesn't any one ever believe Harry in these books? He's always fighting popular belief. Does he always have to be the victim? Can't he bully some people around? Or maybe have everyone believe him in the first go, but then he's wrong! That would be interesting.

Listening to: Bond. The string quartet. Ex roommate showed them to me, and I was able to watch a concert of theirs on DVD over break. Now my exroomie gave me some of their music. Bwah!

Watched: Most recently... I think it was "Always" with Richard Dreyfus, Holly Hunt, and John Goodman. Ha! also "Gremlins" for the first time ever this weekend. Giz is sooo cute! I want a Mogwai! And I wouldn't get it wet, either. I didn't expect people to die in the movie. Wow. And the dad getting stuck in the chimney? That was gross.

Anyway, I'll work on something to post for ya guys.

Jackie Bird

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

This computer sucks

I had a totally cool post that I've tried to post like four times, and it didn't work. >P If this one doesn't work, I'm not going to try until I end my vacation. Basically, having a great vacation so far with family, friends, and nice boys who are cute who can't remember my name. Anyway, talk to y'all later

Jackie Bird

Vomit

Okay, yeah, I know that's a gross word. But that's my rant/nonsense word. Writing a paper, need to throw ideas down, it's a paper vomit. Freaked my roommate out when I told her I just finished vomiting and was ready to write my paper. So get ready for my holiday vomit.

Awesomeous vacation ever! So far, I have:
Visited my dad
Slept on couch for a week
Watched movies nearly every waking hour for a week
Had Turkey Dinner!!!!
Had special chicken dinner twice!!!
Visited friend for almost a week
Played in snow!!! (made snow dragons hehe)
Put my car in four wheel drive!!!
Watched Narnia again
Went to a party where I didn't know most of the people and tried to socialize and had a good time (that's a first)
Found a cute guy, trying not to obsess over him, wish he could remember my name.
Reached level 17 on Fire Emblem
Got a Zelda! Woohoo! Nintendo 64 is good one thing, and one thing only!
Got the complete works of Shakespeare! Read twelfth night.
Read friend's story. Sweetness.
Learned how to play guitar. Kinda.
Forgot what I learned on the guitar.
Watched Bond concert DVD.
Went Christmas shopping with my dad, helped him buy me presents, went home and wrapped them for me.
Got sick and tired of date commercials. If you have to call a service to meet single locals, there must be something wrong with you.
Hm. I think that's all. I'll let y'all know if I think of something else.

Jackie Bird

Thursday, December 08, 2005

NARNIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just got back from a previewing thing, and I'm still jazzed up. It is spectacular, wonderful, magnificent, beautiful, marvelous, exciting, wonderful, beautiful- okay, I'm repeating myself. I'll stop. *stunned silence while reflecting* It was wonderful. I mean, great. Yes, obviously, they cut plot corners, but the way they sewed it back together was just magnificent. They didn't take anything out, really, for those fellow Narnia lovers, they just cut out the unnecessary waiting in some parts, and it fit really nicely. Oh, it was great. One thing, okay, two things that I have an artistic beef about are: the white witch and the centaurs. She wasn't scary enough, but for some reason, I've noticed that I have that opinion of all the villain's lately. There hasn't been a single villain up to my villain standards, when acted by a person. So I guess that doesn't mean anything against the movie. But the centaurs felt disproportioned. I said that they should have made the horse part smaller, but my friend pointed out to me that centaurs are supposed to be huge and intimidating, and I agree, so they really should have made the human part larger. And good job not putting a saddle on the unicorn. Oh, and the witch's dresses were hideous. But yay! Lucy's so cute! Yay! Tumnus is almost hot! Yay! the beavers were funny! Yay! sibling relationships were great! Yay! for German night raids! Yay! for phoenixes! phoenixi... Yay! for griffins with tail feathers! (no, really, it's great) Yay! for Edmund! Yay! for Susan! Yay! for Peter! Yay! for the centaur general! Yay! For ASLAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Beautiful.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005


Scary nightmare thing. She's digging her fingers into the sandy ground, btw.