Valentine's Day!

Ha ha. I like Valentine's Day. I've yet to have a boyfriend on one, and get balloons or flowers from someone not my mom, but I still enjoy the cheesy spiderman or looneytoons valentines from my friends. I forgot to buy ones for my friends, but I'm going to be all over it next year. Right now all my valentines are pinned on the wall next to my door. (I have two more than my roomie, since the one from her boyfriend counts as two.) I even got a personalized one from a friend and it sent me giggling hysterically for a good ten minutes. There I go again. Valentine's Day isn't just for couples to get mushy and try to out-gift the other one, it's just a general "I care about you, in case you forgot" day. It's for family and friends, and complete strangers too.

So I want to say, "I love you" to all of you reading this. Cause whether you're reading this because I know you and told you about it, or you found me, or you stumbled on this blog while searching for a Zelda walkthrough, I love you and you matter to me. Seriously.

Mediagames

Heehee, I wonder if anyone else has coined that term? I didn't want to write "video and computer games". Here are the two games up for discussion: Minesweeper and Zelda: Ocarina of Time.

Minesweeper: I am beginning to suspect that this game is a complete waste of time. Only after I beat Expert twice. Not in a row, I've only done it three times to date.

Zelda: is not the name of the main character. I keep forgetting that. Friday I played an hour of it for the first time since I grounded myself from it. I'm going painfully slow at it, which is fine for me, I don't have the nerves for the fighting, and I hate the Nintendo controller. I also blame the controller for my battle failure. I'd rather use the arrow buttons to maneuver, but that's not even an option. On a PS it's an option, but not this. So, when I'm in Karkarino or whatever, how do I open the crate that has the chicken in it? I've shot at it, kicked it, slashed at it, carried over a rock from up the hill to throw at it... I need that chicken. And what about the one behind the wall that's only accessible from a ladder leading from above the windmill, which has one door to go inside, but not one to go up and out? I need those chickens! I have a task that doesn't involve panic and slippery controllers and getting killed, I need to complete it! The walkthroughs I've looked at don't even consider the chickens worth explaining, as they probably aren't necessary to kill the big boss man at the end. And when do I get to ride the horse and go back in time and turn into a fish? I've watched friends play, but I've never had it myself until recently.

I would appreciate replies to this...

Why do boys think that they failed when they don’t get a girl to like them?

Judas

As you were born to die,
I was born to betray.
I love you, my Rabbi.
I listened to your teachings,
I left my family
And my home
To follow you.
To live for you.
To travel to unclean lands
And live uncertainly
With you.
I planned to talk to the priests,
I don't know why.
I couldn't stop thinking about it
That last night.
We dipped our bread together,
You seemed to know my thoughts,
And sent me away.
I met you at the garden,
And saw your resignation.
Puzzled, I kissed your face in the darkness,
Greeting you, my Rabbi.
Your voice chilled me,
I did condemn you
As your friend.
I lived,
To betray the Son of Man with a kiss,
To die,
Damned,
So that Creation could know salvation,
And so that He could rise and show His power.

Nothing much today...

Sorry, I wanted to use this blog to post poems and such, but I haven't written any lately, so thus the mindless drivel. I've been busy figuring out the theology of Star Wars (dualistic) and reincorporating myself with classes. I'll keep my mind out for any poem or prose opportunities, and post the result as soon as I can. Promise.

Read lately: in the dead center of "Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince" duh! the Half Blood Prince is Voldemort! How many Half Blooded powerful wizards are there? Hm? Duh! That would have been my first guess, actually, it was my first guess, and Harry's bothering around with wondering about his full blooded father or Muggle born mother. And why doesn't any one ever believe Harry in these books? He's always fighting popular belief. Does he always have to be the victim? Can't he bully some people around? Or maybe have everyone believe him in the first go, but then he's wrong! That would be interesting.

Listening to: Bond. The string quartet. Ex roommate showed them to me, and I was able to watch a concert of theirs on DVD over break. Now my exroomie gave me some of their music. Bwah!

Watched: Most recently... I think it was "Always" with Richard Dreyfus, Holly Hunt, and John Goodman. Ha! also "Gremlins" for the first time ever this weekend. Giz is sooo cute! I want a Mogwai! And I wouldn't get it wet, either. I didn't expect people to die in the movie. Wow. And the dad getting stuck in the chimney? That was gross.

Anyway, I'll work on something to post for ya guys.

Jackie Bird

This computer sucks

I had a totally cool post that I've tried to post like four times, and it didn't work. >P If this one doesn't work, I'm not going to try until I end my vacation. Basically, having a great vacation so far with family, friends, and nice boys who are cute who can't remember my name. Anyway, talk to y'all later

Jackie Bird

Vomit

Okay, yeah, I know that's a gross word. But that's my rant/nonsense word. Writing a paper, need to throw ideas down, it's a paper vomit. Freaked my roommate out when I told her I just finished vomiting and was ready to write my paper. So get ready for my holiday vomit.

Awesomeous vacation ever! So far, I have:
Visited my dad
Slept on couch for a week
Watched movies nearly every waking hour for a week
Had Turkey Dinner!!!!
Had special chicken dinner twice!!!
Visited friend for almost a week
Played in snow!!! (made snow dragons hehe)
Put my car in four wheel drive!!!
Watched Narnia again
Went to a party where I didn't know most of the people and tried to socialize and had a good time (that's a first)
Found a cute guy, trying not to obsess over him, wish he could remember my name.
Reached level 17 on Fire Emblem
Got a Zelda! Woohoo! Nintendo 64 is good one thing, and one thing only!
Got the complete works of Shakespeare! Read twelfth night.
Read friend's story. Sweetness.
Learned how to play guitar. Kinda.
Forgot what I learned on the guitar.
Watched Bond concert DVD.
Went Christmas shopping with my dad, helped him buy me presents, went home and wrapped them for me.
Got sick and tired of date commercials. If you have to call a service to meet single locals, there must be something wrong with you.
Hm. I think that's all. I'll let y'all know if I think of something else.

Jackie Bird

NARNIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just got back from a previewing thing, and I'm still jazzed up. It is spectacular, wonderful, magnificent, beautiful, marvelous, exciting, wonderful, beautiful- okay, I'm repeating myself. I'll stop. *stunned silence while reflecting* It was wonderful. I mean, great. Yes, obviously, they cut plot corners, but the way they sewed it back together was just magnificent. They didn't take anything out, really, for those fellow Narnia lovers, they just cut out the unnecessary waiting in some parts, and it fit really nicely. Oh, it was great. One thing, okay, two things that I have an artistic beef about are: the white witch and the centaurs. She wasn't scary enough, but for some reason, I've noticed that I have that opinion of all the villain's lately. There hasn't been a single villain up to my villain standards, when acted by a person. So I guess that doesn't mean anything against the movie. But the centaurs felt disproportioned. I said that they should have made the horse part smaller, but my friend pointed out to me that centaurs are supposed to be huge and intimidating, and I agree, so they really should have made the human part larger. And good job not putting a saddle on the unicorn. Oh, and the witch's dresses were hideous. But yay! Lucy's so cute! Yay! Tumnus is almost hot! Yay! the beavers were funny! Yay! sibling relationships were great! Yay! for German night raids! Yay! for phoenixes! phoenixi... Yay! for griffins with tail feathers! (no, really, it's great) Yay! for Edmund! Yay! for Susan! Yay! for Peter! Yay! for the centaur general! Yay! For ASLAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Beautiful.

Scary nightmare thing. She's digging her fingers into the sandy ground, btw.

Girl with cello

Cool Jedi thing

Finals

So, I haven't been very creative lately... I drew some pictures, but... okay, I'll try to post them, I guess. Anyway, to make up for it, I'm going to share this funny deal that my boss found today. Great place to work. Find great stuff like this.

Finals!!!

Twas the night before finals, and all through the college,
The students were praying for last minute knowledge.
Most were quite sleepy, but none touched their beds,
While visions of essays danced in their heads.

In my apartment, I had been pacing,
And dreaded exams I soon would be facing.
My roommate was speechless, his nose in his books,
And my comments to him drew unfriendly looks.
I drained all the coffee, and brewed a new pot.
No longer caring that my nerves were all shot.

I stared at my notes, but my thoughts they were muddy,
My eyes went a blur, I just couldn't study.
"Some pizza might help," I said with a shiver,
But each place I called refused to deliver.
I'd nearly concluded that life was too cruel,
With futures depending on grades had in school.

When all of a sudden, our door opened wide,
And Patron Saint Put-It-Off ambled inside.
Her spirit was careless, her manner was mellow,
She wore a white toga, she started to bellow:
"What kind of student would make such a fuss,
To toss back at teachers what they tossed at us?"

"On Cliff Notes! On Crib Notes! On last year's exams!
On Wingit and Slingit, and last minute crams!"
Her message delivered, she vanished from sight,
But we heard her laughing outside in the night.
"Your teachers have pegged you, so just do your best.
Happy finals to all, and to all, a good test!"

Screw Orion

So, all semester I've been wanting a boyfriend, and all semester I've been attracted to every other guy, and all semester no one's shown any slightest bit of interest. And this is without flirting. Were I to take matters into my own hands (and out of God's), I could probably find someone. But I've done that before, and I think that I lose interest with guys acquired too easily. Like, I ask them out, and they say yes (not all guys would, just the ones I'd ask), and it was easy, but then after I've started the relationship, I sit back and wait for them to pick up the reins, and they don't, because they aren't the personality type to do that, they couldn't even ask a girl out, so then I get bored and dump them. I got sick of asking guys out to dances, and for Senior Prom I swore I wouldn't. You would not believe the manipulation and mind games I had to play in order to get Matt to ask me. Nearly made me sick, and I almost lost patience and asked him. But linking that to now, not only would instigating something go against waiting for God's timing, but I don't want to.

I want a guy with a friggin backbone. Who will ask me out. Who is interested in me. Namely, no one here. Either everyone here is not interested in me, in which case, I don't want to go out with them, or they're too scared to ask me out, so I wouldn't want to go out with them either. So I'm not dating because there are no guys around who measure up to my standards. It's about perspective. It's not that they don't want to date me, it's that I wouldn't want them to, even if they would. *sigh* Actually, there are some guys who may ask me out in the future, but I'm too shallow to like them. But that's a standard too, right? I should like them to go out with them?

You know, none of this made sense. It just feels better to say, "It's not me, it's all of them."

Fat Lady

I feel like a fat lady in a china shop when I'm driving. I should be more confident and all that by now, but it's hard to just drive when I'm hanging out in front and sticking out behind, and I still don't know how wide I am. I drive a Blazer, and it's harder to maneuver a big girl like that than a little normal car. I'm getting better at parking, I'm between the lines, but I still park in the back of a full parking lot rather than try to squeeze between two cars. I tend to go too close on my side, and I can't see the little guy on my right, so I don't know if I'm totally scraping up against him or if he can get into his car, so I just don't deal with it and park in the back. Well, the middle, I haven't had to go to the back yet. But Christmas is coming up, so I wouldn't be surprised if I did. I still don't know how to change the hubby things into four wheel drive. I keep meaning to ask Dad how when I visit, but I always forget in the "when was the last time you changed your oil?" conversations. I still haven't checked my coolant level in a while. Oi. But at least it's warmer now. Found out this weekend that my vent was open. That explains why my feet have been frigid even after driving for an hour. Now it gets real warm in ten minutes. Mmm baby. Baby... That's what I call my car. Baby. I want to give her a real name though. I'll still call her Baby, but she deserves the dignity of a name. I'm between finding out the name of the Fat Lady in the Picture and Madame Maxime's first name from Harry Potter. Still don't know either of their names, but I think I'm leaning toward Maxime's. She's big, and she's not afraid to rough it, yet she's sophisticated. I think that fits my car. Gimme a sec. Olympe. Hm. Maybe just call her Maxime. I don't know. What do you guys think?

On the Death of a Tree

She watched in horror as it slithered up to her children.
They played joyously with it, petting it,
until it gently took them in its jaws
and tore them to shreds.
Standing strong, she shields the remainder of her children behind her.
Growling loudly, it faces her, stalking slowly.
Finally it charges, and clamps down on her body.
Groaning, she struggles to keep her footing,
but is mercilessly dragged off to be dismembered and fed to its offspring.

Vodka

It assaults the tongue
And dry humps it
Until the offended member
Is forced out of the mouth

What's up today

You know, some people use their blogs to comment on life. Hm. Never occured to me, except for the Journal entries. Let's try it, and see if anyone cares.

I wonder if I'm getting more attention today because I'm wearing my padded pushup bra. I have a suspicion that I get slightly more male attention when I wear this, but I haven't been paying attention enough on days I do to know if that's what it is, or if it's just a weird day. More strange guys have said hi, and familiar guys have been seen more often.

Does it make that much difference? I didn't think that a 1/4 inch of padding and a little elevation is easily discernable. But then I don't know how often guys analyze a girl's rack for that miniscule difference.

What else is up? Got a crush on a guy. Going to be a Jedi for Halloween with my friend. Still have to finish sewing her cloak, and fix the hem on mine. What's funny is that she and I collaborated, and discovered that there's going to be a Leia, a Luke, and a Vader on campus too, but they weren't doing it together. We're the whole package and largely on accident. The other Jedi wants me to sit in a class with her on Halloween for effect for a teacher.

Anyway, I'll let you know if I find anything conclusive on the effects of my bra.

Untitled

It begins with a seed
It appears in your hand
Startled, some are dropt
And lost among the filth
Others are guarded
And carefully nurtured
Wringing out the brain
Squeezing a few drops
To water our gift
The bud appears
Coaxed open with a pen
Painted with ink
With beautiful paper leaves

Wow, so excited!

So, I play cello in my college orchestra. The class is called "orchestra," though really, if you were going to describe us, we'd be an unbalanced quartet.

For those of you who aren't music experts, "orchestra" is the whole huge musical group, sometimes including band, but usually only talking about the stringed instruments. "Quartet" are two violins, a viola, and a cello. Everyone knows what a violin is, a viola is slightly larger and deeper sounding, a cello is sat with it between the player's legs, and the bass is the huge one that they need to stand to play. Our group is two violinists, a viola/violinist/teacher, a viola, two cellos, and a bass. We bigger, lower instruments have a tendency to overpower the smaller, higher instruments, thus making us unbalanced and very careful regarding dynamics ("loudness factors," to you laymen).

Anyway, our group has been really small lately, but just this year we were invited to perform in band/choir thingys, and tomorrow we're going to be the music for the bass player's friend's wedding. *excited* And we sound good. The bride wants "Jesu, Joy of Man's Desires" for the procession, "Pachobell's Canon in D" for her entrance, and "Pink Panther theme" for the recession. That's fun. And we'll be there tomorrow and we'll be sitting up there on the platform while she's getting married, and we have beyond front row seats, and we get to see their faces during the ceremony while no one else does, and the bass player will be crying, and it'll be so cool. Okay, well, just wanted to share that. Good night!

What is the grass?

What is the grass? She asked a top the table
Bracing for ridicule, heart pounding
From the nerve it took to climb.
Our eyes widen for a moment
Then return to our desks,
Content to ignore this bold one who stands in our periphery.
We allow her a moment of rebellion,
Sure that she will climb down, ineffective,
And continue life sitting.